Animal Attraction

Апр 08
2010
How’s about instead of working on that expense report, we spend three minutes giggling over pictures of animals canoodling? Yeah, I thought so. (P.S. I am fully aware that humans and chimps are the only animals that truly kiss. Whatevs. How cute are these photos?!) Read the rest of this entry »

The Smile File

Апр 07
2010
Does the title of this post make you guys throw up in your mouths a little bit? Are you cringing and rolling your eyes a little bit? Because I certainly am. I very nearly renamed this post something clever/witty/slightly snarky but then the rhyming overcame my sense of self awareness and well, here we are. Read the rest of this entry »

Gross National Happiness

Апр 04
2010
Lately, I’ve been getting heaps of new students from Bhutan, a tiny country tucked between India and China. I’m completely enamoured with their jangly ankle bracelets, nose rings and habits of dissolving into laughter over just about everything. Read the rest of this entry »

101 Ways To Cheer Yourself Up: Part 2

Мар 30
2010
This is Part 2 of Steff Metal’s inspired guest post on the many ways to pull yourself out of a funk. Do check out Part 1, as well!

51. Indulge a Guilty Pleasure
Whatever it might be. I am partial to eating Tim Tams and watching Dr. Phil, or listening to the Rasmus. Be proud to be silly.

52. Have Something Delicious Delivered to your House
Don’t go for the normal pizza – see if your favorite Italian or Moroccan restaurant do deliveries? Will the bakery send you out a fresh-baked loaf? Bask in the glory of ringing someone up and having hot food arrive on your doorstep. It’s a wonderful world we live in.

53. Tourism!
Dress up like a tourist (shorts, shirt, camera, “bum bag”, ridiculous hat, guidebook in back pocket) and go do something really touristy: whale-watching, the tourist bus tour, or go to the over-priced amusements. Talk loudly, take hundreds of photos.

54. Clothing Attack
Find all the clothes in your wardrobe you don’t really like and attack them with hundreds of studs and spikes. I bet you like them better now, right?

55. Invent Music
Buy a silly instrument – a harmonica, a tin whistle, a recorder, a djambje, anything as long as it’s inexpensive and makes noise. Be loud and enthusiastic in your playing.

56. Feed Ducks
Make a “feel happy” soundtrack of your favorite songs, and stick it on your MP3 player. Put on your favorite walking clothes. Walk to your local park or river, stopping at the dairy on the way to pick up a loaf of bread. Walk through the park listening to your favorite songs, a find a good stop to sit down a throw morsels of bread to the ducks and geese.

57. Secret Squirrel
Find a secret place. Your secret place should be high up, with a great view. Look for tall trees in the park, abandoned buildings with easily-scaled roofs, or unknown nooks and niches above bridges. Take yourself there when you feel blue, listen to music or read a book and watch the city unfold around you. Be careful climbing to your secret place – falling from your favorite tree won’t cheer you up!

58. Buy Silly Slippers
In the cold of winter, your feet need all the warm they can get. A pair of ridiculous slippers – shaped like dogs, penguins or Eric Adam’s loincloth – cheer you up.

59. Otherwise Know As …
Decide on new nicknames for all of your friends. Send them a text or email to let them know their new nickname, and call them that from now on. The more outrageous the nicknames, the better. Nicknames make a person feel loved, like they’ve reached a new level of intimacy with you.

60. Rise and Shine, Sleepyhead
Changing your morning routine can alter your whole day. If you shower at night, try showering in the morning, just after you wake up. What do you eat for breakfast? DO you eat breakfast? We need to change that? Do you open the curtains? If not, open them wide! Do you get up too early? Too late? Change up your routine for a week, and measure the affects on you whole persona.

61. Wake-up Call
Change your alarm clock to something fun. On our epic Europe adventure we had “Morning Manowar”. I tell you, nothing makes you more excited to get up and explore castles than “Hail and Kill” at 7am.

62. Find a Totem
A totem is an embalm representing a creature or object you feel a strong connection with. Carrying a totem on your person gives you the sense of being able to draw power from associating yourself with that creature. It’s a little new-agey, but I also think it’s quite metal.
My totem animals are cats, and birds – specifically ravens and ducks. We made friends with ravens in Norway, and ever since, I’ve fallen utterly in love with them.

63. Experience New Things
Find a list of “what’s on in your town”, and for a week, do something new every day. Alternatively, search travel websites for reviews of off-the-beaten track things to do in your area – sometimes backpackers find the gems you’d never otherwise discover, because their hearts and minds are actively searching for those experiences.

64. Lego
One day I was feeling crap, my husband snuck out of the house. He returned 20 minutes later carrying a huge box. What was inside? A lego viking ship! We spent the afternoon making it up and having high seas viking adventures. Best. Cheering. Up. Ever.

65. Write a Personal Manifesto
Who are you really? What are you about? What makes you tick? What morals and beliefs do you follow? Write yourself a personal manifesto – who you are, who you want to be and how you’re gonna get there. For more info on manifesto writing (an artform in itself) read about Nothing Elegant’s Blog Manifesto project

66. Open an Etsy Shop
If you’re a creative type, why not see if you can sell some work online. Etsy is a great place to sell handmade crafts or vintage collections. You don’t have to try and make millions selling your work, but list a few of your best pieces and see how you go.

TIP: The key to success on Etsy (as far as I can tell) is to list lots of items, so your stuff shows up in more searches. Try to list an item a day for 30 days – you should start to see more regular sales once you have over 50-100 items in your shop (which is what I’m currently working towards). It’s only 20c to list an item, so you not going to bankrupt yourself.

67. Make Someone’s Day
Mark Twain said “the best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up”. The man speaks truth. Call an old friend up, just to say hi. Text someone and tell them they’re awesome. Take any idea from this list and do it for someone else, instead of for yourself.

68. Gratitude
Write a Gratitude List – I do this sometimes on the blog. It’s called Up the Irons! and it’s a shout-out to everything good in life. Sometimes, when you concentrate on the bad, you forget all the little things making up the world of good.

69. De-Clutter
Clean out a drawer, cupboard, desk or room you’ve filled up with stuff. Pile up old clothes and books to give to charity shops, and toss the rest away (or recycle it, if you can). You don’t need so much stuff, and having a clean desk/room/drawer feels like having a clean start. I feel instantly fresh and inspired after cleaning my eternally cluttered writing desk.

70. Light a Fire
Don’t you find something oddly comforting about a live, roaring fire? My family has always had open fires blazing throughout winter – I’ve never owned a heater till I moved to Auckland and lived in a hostel. We would sit round the fire at night and eat dinner, do our homework, watch TV.

If you have an open fireplace, light a fire in your living room and curl up next to it with a book and a bag of marshmallows. Hot chocolate, pikelet mixture, jam and chocolates work a treat, too.
If not, can you make a fire in a drum in your backyard? (check your local law about this). Pull up a chair, a can (or horn) of mead and a steak sandwich. Taste the night air on your tongue.

71. Fresh Fruits and Vegetables
A diet of highly processed foods deprives us of much-needed nutrients, and nutrients make us happy. So give yourself a nutrient feast – find your local farmers market and spend up large and the freshest, most delicious fruits and vegetables. Toss into a salad, bake into a pie, boil up in a big vat of soup, or just enjoy raw with olive oil and hummus.

72. Play Board Games
You’re going to need a partner for this. Dig out all your “old school” board games – Monopoly, Hamburger (my favorite, cuz it’s about food), Mousetrap, Trouble, UNO, Blackgammen … whatever you had as a kid, and play them all. Make fairy bread and drink orange juice and wrap yourself in big blankets.

73. “Get Away From It All”
I’ve never been an advocate for this method of dealing with an issue, because you’re bound to find the issue waiting for you when you return from your sojourn. But sometimes, you just need a break from the world. If you know you need to “get away” for a few days, really get away. Skip town, and don’t take your cell phone. Go bush. Pack your tent and billy and find a corner of the wilderness unpopulated with human life. Relish the stillness of a world untouched by urban living. In the clarity of fresh air, all your muddled thoughts sometimes become crystal clear.

74. The Old Fashioned Way
I bake bread every day. EVERY DAY. I don’t use a breadmaker, or any prepackaged mix. I make bread the old-fashioned way – the way humankind has made bread for 10,000 years.

Throw away your modern conveniences and learn to make something to “old-fashioned” way. Can your own tomato pasta sauce, squeeze your own orange juice, make your own beer (I’m doing a home-brew course this year – exciting!), bake a loaf of bread from scratch … kneading that bread is therapeutic, trust me.

75. Build a Fort
Need I say more?

76. Up in the Air
This isn’t cheap, but I guarantee it will cheer you up. Go on a hot air balloon ride.
We took a hot air balloon ride over Cappedocia in Turkey. Not cheap (wiped our Middle-East budget clear out) but worthwhile. I never expected the sensation of being inside a hot-air balloon to feel like it did – everything is still. You can’t feel wind. You just hang, and bob along. You can hear everything happening on the streets below. Amazing.

77. Beach
Maybe it’s just a New Zealand thing, but nothing says relaxing and good times like going to the beach.

Go to a deserted beach – they’re easy to find if you know where to look. Pack a picnic lunch. Roll the legs of your pants up and run through the surf. Clamber over the rocks and find little fishies in the tide pools. Build a sandcastle. Watch the sun set over the water.

78. Adopt a Pet
If you feel lonely, give part of your home to an animal without one. Every day, the SPCA and other animal shelters rescue hundreds of unwanted, neglected pets, and if no one comes to adopt them … you know what happens. It’s shameful and we should all do our bit for these animals.
Scientists have proven stroking a cat induces healing and reduces feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Pets love unconditionally, and they always know just what to do to make you laugh.

79. Karaoke
Who thought up such a ridiculous idea? And yes, as silly as karaoke seems, it’s immensely popular and lots of fun. Can’t sing? Neither can anyone else. Just do the best you can. Ham it up, be OTT ridiculous. Death growl if you have to.

80. Sparklers
Wait until fireworks go on sale in November, and stock up on these little packets of joy. Bring out a few sparklers to light up your BBQs over summer, or just dance around the backyard when you feel a little feral. Spell naughty words in the air, have a dual against a tree, or just pretend you are a fire fairy. Sparklers rule.

81. Ice Cream Parlour
Find your nearest ice cream parlour, and order the largest, most ridiculous sundae on their menu. Eat it all. Don’t feel guilty.

Or, better yet, make your own concoction at home. Give it a hilarious name, like “Steff’s Epic Metal Sundae Mountain of Doom”, cover it in whipped cream, frosting, crumbled biscuits, cut-up Mars bars, nuts, sprinkles, chocolate chips, cherries, bananas, blueberries, sauce, fudge, sherbet and anything else you can think of. Eat it all. Don’t feel guilty.

82. Old School
Go to the library or a second-hand bookshop and find some of those series books from the nineties: the ones you undoubtedly read: The Baby-Sitters Club, Sweet Valley High, Pony Club, Goosebumps, Fear Street. Read them all again. Damn, weren’t they terribly awesome?

83. Community Classes
My husband and I are taking German classes at a nearby high school. It costs us $89 for seven 2 hour lessons, with all materials included. The school runs classes in everything: from burlesque dancing to Metalworking to Indian cooking. They are cheap, they are run by enthusiastic, experienced teachers, they are filled with interesting people, they enable you to learn new skills. In short – community classes are awesome.

84. Notebook
Buy yourself a fancy notebook, and a nice pen. I love Black Spot Books and Bibliographica who hand bind journals they’ve created using recycled leather and found materials. I also like Immortal Longing’s Shakespeare-inspired journals. Lots of people adore Moleskeine journals, but I honestly don’t see the difference between them and any other notebook.
What will you use your notebook for? Oh, the possibilities!

85. Random Club
Open your gig guide, close your eyes, and point. That’s where you’re going tonight. Dress inappropriately, and make the best of it.

86. Starry Night
Find your local observatory or planetarium. Show up for one of their evening lectures – they normally set up telescopes so you can look at celestial bodies. Better yet, take a course in astronomy. Amaze yourself at just how busy it is out there.

87. Sleepy Time
If you can spare the dough, buy new sheets and a duvet for your bed. Find something completely luxurious in a your favorite colour. Make over your bed, and you make over your sleep.

88. Facebook Friends
You know all those random “friends of friends’ who keep adding you on Facebook? Strike up a conversation with one of them. You know you already have something in common, and they added you so they can’t think your a serial killer or anything. Who knows, a “friend of a friend” might turn into an actual friend.

89. Dinner and a Movie
By Yourself. Yes, go out on a “typical” date all by yourself. Eat at your favorite restaurant (and don’t bring a book. You don’t need to distract yourself from your own company), and then go to a movie you really want to see. Buy yourself all the treats YOU want to eat, sit wherever you want (I love sitting right in the front row, and I fold all the armrests up and lie down. Cushiony!)

90. Love Letter
Write someone a love letter in chalk on the steps up to their apartment or the pavement outside their flat. Use several colours. Hide and watch their reaction when they see it.

91. Signature Cocktail
Pull all the liqueur bottles out of your cabinet and line then up on the counter. Now, go to the fridge and pull out all the liquids and fruits. Do the same with the pantry. Now, line up all your shot glasses and start mixing! You’re searching for the perfect signature cocktail. This involves lots of taste-testing. Be daring, be crazy. Give your drink a wacky name. (This is an also excellent way to use all those liqueur bottles people have left with half a centimetre of liquid inside.)

92. Road Trip
Road trips kick ass. A car, good music, an adventure, bad food, what more could you want? I love a trip when you know roughly where you’re going, but you don’t have a specific schedule, so you can stop and look at random things on the way. On the last road trip I went on – up to a campsite by a lake – we stopped to take air-guitar pictures outside a picturesque white chapel in the middle of a rolling field. Next, we made faces underneath a duck-crossing sign.

93. Collect Something Interesting
It could be anything – I collect miniature trinket boxes (I want to start collecting pill or snuff boxes exclusively), and fossils, and I used to collect locks of hair. My husband collects vintage books about trains. I have a friend who collects typewriters, another who collects statues of elephants.

Once you’ve decided on your collection, spend hours scouring eBay or Amazon and making a huge wishlist of all the items you want to add to your collection. You probably can’t afford to buy them all, but maybe splash out on just one.

94. Pay off Debt
Owing people money stresses me out. I feel like a failure if I haven’t budgeted accordingly to be able to pay for something in cash, or I have to borrow money from a friend.

So sit down and make a plan. Many people find great success in Dave Ramsey’s “Debt Snowball” plan: you write a list of all your debts in order of how much money is left on them. You make sure you’re paying the minimum on each, except for the one with the least amount left to pay back. You throw everything else you’ve got at that payment, and as soon as you’ve paid it off, you throw everything at the next smallest, and so on. It’s not the most cost-effective way (if one of your larger payments has a much higher interest rate) but most of debt repayment is about staying focused, and it’s hard to stay focused if you don’t see any results. Getting rid of each payment is like a little present for all your hard work – you stay motivated.

95. Paddle
You can buy a decent-sized wading pool at Wal-mart. Fill it with water (warm or hot) and bubble bath. Pour yourself a glass of wine and have your own private spa in your backyard. I like to do this at night when you can see the stars.

96. Celebrate random holidays
You might have realised by now, I’m a big fan of celebrating random and made-up holidays. I’ve written before about remembering Dimebag Darryl and having a metal Christmas, but I’m sure you can think of lots of ideas for random or made-up holidays.

Celebrate the birthdays of your favorite writers, musicians and artists. Celebrate crazy religious holidays – Gala Darling wrote about celebrating Holi – a hindi festival where everyone throws coloured powder over everyone else. It looks like the most fun ever.

97. Let Go of Useless People
On a couple of occasions I’ve had to let go of friends who were hurting me. They were good friends and good people and I loved them and didn’t realise what a negative effect they had on my life, until it was too late. Sometimes, loving someone isn’t enough, when they expect you to carry them too.

Let go of the people who cause you pain. Set them free to find themselves. Be the hero – be the person brave enough to say “this isn’t working and it has to end.” Letting those people go was like a huge weight lifting from my chest. I’m a firm believer that if the friendship is meant to be, it will come back, stronger than ever. And ending a friendship doesn’t undo all the wonderful, amazing good times and experiences you had together.

98. Embrace another Culture
Choose a culture or time period you don’t know anything about, but have always been fascinated with, and start reading books and websites. Whether you choose ancient Egypt, Communist Russia, Imperial China, the Maori or the Inuit, start a love affair with another time or place.

99. Mmmmm, Sprinkles
Bake a cake for a friend, or for your colleagues at work. For no reason, except “just because”. I find the act of baking theraputic – no matter what’s going on in the world, you still stir the batter, lick the bowl, and make your house smell amazing. Plus, you get to surprise someone with cake.

100. Hug someone
I love hugs – they’re my favoritest thing in the whole world. If you hug someone (a friend, a parent, a lover, a stranger), chances are, they’ll hug you back. Yay, hugs for everyone!
TIP: If you ever meet me, give me a hug. I will love you forever.

101. Talk to Steff
Even if no one else cares, even if no one in the whole wide world wants to listen to you moan or growl or cry or scream or laugh or sob or growl or smile – I do. Shoot me an email at steff@steffmetal.com – I always answer.

Thanks for the fantastic guest post, Steff!

101 Ways To Cheer Yourself Up: Part 1

Мар 26
2010
In the event that your Spring is more grey, overcast and melty than sunny and daffodil-filled, have a read through this truly fantastic (and exhaustive) list of ideas to get yourself out of a funk by the lovely and talented Steff Metal! Read the rest of this entry »

For The Love of Bed Jumping

Мар 25
2010
Do you guys remember the awesomeness that is bed-jumping? There was an entire section of our basement devoted to two old, saggy queen mattresses, perfect for backflips and wrestling matches and general prancing. These days I’m fairly certain my downstairs neighbors wouldn’t be too impressed with my backflips. As such, I will just to take solace in these fantastic photos. Le sigh. Read the rest of this entry »

Playing Dress Up

Мар 17
2010
There are many, many things that my parents did right when they raised me. The only-fresh-fruit-or-vegetables-as-a-snack rule. Their total lack of commentary on my completely ridiculous outfits. Their encouragement of my voracious reading. However! I think all of these parenting decisions might pale in comparison to them providing me with theater-caliber dress up trunk.

It wasn’t anything fancy, mostly just over-the-top thrift store finds in two old suitcases, but I loved it so hard. I probably spent entire months of my life fashioning different outfits from those scarves and boots and dresses.

A pair of red cowboy boots were integral in all of my
dress-up outfits. And really, shouldn’t they be the corner
stone of all of our outfits, all the time?

My «gypsy» costume consisted of wearing everything
at once and tying a scarf around my head. Also, attempting
belly dancing, just like most six-year-olds, right?

It’s just like the gypsy outfit, but with an eye patch and
my plastic parrot tied to my shoulder.

Old prom dresses = princess. Obviously.

Did you love to dress up as a kid? What did you dress up as?

How to Create An Amazing Group of Friends

Мар 16
2010
May I wax immodest for a moment and tell you that I have an amazing group of friends? Really. I count some of the funniest, smartest, most accomplished, most amazing people in the land as my nearest and dearest. How lucky am I, right?

Making friends as an adult can be a tricky business, can’t it? You see a cool girl in the bookshop, wearing a concert t-shirt from your favorite band and perusing the hiiii-larious new David Sedaris book. How do you talk to her without her thinking you’re trying to pick her up? And how do you ask your super funny, single (male) co-worker to go rock climbing without prefacing the whole thing with «butivegotaboyfriendihopeyouknow!»

How’s about we work out step-by-step instructions for The Cultivation and Maintenance Of A Fulfilling and Fun Social Circle?

Consider What You Want In A Friend
I, personally, want friends that inspire me in some form. Maybe they do great things at their job as an inner city social worker (Hi, Tara!). Perhaps they’re impressively zen, balanced and non-judgemental (I’m looking at you, Kathryn and Meghan). Or they might just make me laugh so hard I choke on my Diet Coke (Darcie/Tamara/Winona/Ashley/Emily/Steph). Regardless, they all bring something to the table that I gladly gobble up.

So have a good think about the things that are important to you and what you’d like more of in your life. Do you need someone who will kick your ass (metaphorically, of course) when you don’t follow up on that job lead? Do you want a friend who will joyfully trade parenting war stories with you? Or a girl that will join you when you want to dance on top of the bar? All good friends to have!

Go Do Stuff
I’m sure this will come as a huge surprise to you, but you won’t actually make new friends sitting at home by yourself, dressing your cat in vests. You have to go out and meet people! It’s not unlike dating, guys. Put yourself in situations that are likely to present interesting, like-minded people. Volunteer. Go to the rock climbing wall. Take a community ed class. Join a church or temple if you’re religious.

Places I’ve met friends? A party hosted by my ex-boyfriend’s co-worker. Italy. A bachelorette party. An internet message board. The gene pool of my ex-boyfriend.

Take Some Initiative
Okay, so now you’ve met someone awesome. Make it happen, dude. Find them of facebook and friend them. Tell them you had a great time discussing obscure Russian artists with them. Invite them to something that you know would interest them. What’s the worst that could happen?

As a side note: when I meet someone I want to befriend, I have zero qualms about announcing to them «You’re awesome. We’re going to friends now, I hope you know.» You’d be amazed how effective this is!

Awesome People Beget More Awesome People
If you’ve got one awesome friend, chances are pretty good that she knows other awesome people. I picked up Laura at a Halloween party (we bonded over mini butterfingers and our shared desire to conquer the world) and recently met her fantastic friend Elizabeth at a valentines-making party. Elizabeth and I are now knee-deep in plans for manicures and margaritas. Operation New Friendship accomplished!

Make Things Happen
Having an active social life doesn’t just happen. We’re all busy folks with jobs and families and classes and that bacon isn’t going to eat itself! We all fall off the social wagon from time and time and before you know it, you haven’t been to a party or gotten a non-telemarketer phone call in ages. It’s easy to get a bit paranoid, wonder what you’re missing and convince yourself that your friends aren’t that into you. Don’t.

Be the do-er. Get a group together to try that new Korean karaoke joint. Or to go to the races. Throw a miracle berry party. Sociability begets more sociability.

Make Your Friendships A Priority
Not unlike long-term romantic relationships, we might take long-term friendships for granted. Make the effort to stay in touch if you’re not in the same city. Remember their birthday. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Cultivate the inside joke.

Hold Up Your End of The Friendship Deal
Pick them up at the airport at 3 am. Help them paint their apartment. Listen to them rail against that awful co-worker. Go with them to the Heidi Montag concert. Tell them when the skirt looks better with a different top. They’d do the same for you. And if they wouldn’t? Maybe they’re not your friend.

Don’t Be Afraid to Toss Out The Bad Eggs
Of course, there are going to be friendships that cease to work. People and circumstances change. Don’t be afraid to objectively evaluate your friendships and consider if they’re still working for you. If you emerge from an interaction with a friend feeling drained, negative or insecure, you know that they’re no good for you. If it’s just one specific behavior that’s getting under your skin, try to (diplomatically, kindly) discuss it with your friend.

And if nothing seems to work? Stop calling. There’s a good chance that that person has been feeling the disconnect as well. If they’re still intent on hanging out, limit it to group interactions or the occasional coffee after which you have a (real or imagined) appointment that limits the interaction to an hour or so.

What’s your friend circle like? How do you meet new people?

Show Me The Funny

Мар 09
2010

Here are some things I’m afraid of:
1) encountering a school of flying fish that jump over my boat and get caught in my hair
2) water snakes
3) stand-up comedy

No. Really. I would very literally rather go to work/clean my apartment/wrestle your gaseous dog than attend stand-up comedy. Because what if they’re not funny?! And what if no one laughs?! I will quietly die a thousand deaths and fall out of my chair with second hand embarrassment. Either that or I’ll be that person laughing politely and golf-clapping while everyone else rolls their eyes.

So imagine my surprise when a friend introduced me to the wonderful, inane hilarity of Mitch Hedberg. Sadly, our fellow Minnesotan passed away a few years ago, but that hasn’t stopped me from watching youtube clip after youtube clip of his bizarre one-liners, delivered sans emotion or eye contact. That’s my kind of funny! A sampling of his jokes, you say?

I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something that’s real easy to remember. Something like two two two two two two two two. I would say «Sweet.» And then people would say, «Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?» I’d say, «Just press two for a while. And when I answer, you will know you have pressed two enough.»

My roommate said to me, ‘I’m gonna go shave and use the shower; does anyone need to use the bathroom?’ It’s like some weird ass quiz where he reveals the answer first.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, «I hear music», as if there is any other way you can take it in. You’re not special, that’s how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work.

Sometimes I wave to people I don’t know. It’s very dangerous to wave to someone you don’t know because, what if they don’t have a hand? They’ll think you’re cocky. «Look what I got! This thing is useful. I’m gonna go pick something up!»

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It’s the cutest infestation ever. Much better than cockroaches. I turn the lights on and a bunch of koala bears scatter. I’m like, ‘Come back! I want to hold one of you, and feed you a leaf.’

I was at the airport a while back and some guy said, «Hey man, I saw you on TV last night.» But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he was just confirming that he saw me on television. So I turned my head away for about a minute, and looked back at him and said, «Dude! I saw you at the airport…about a minute ago… and you were good.»

How do you feel about stand up comedy? Any funny people you particularly love?

Moments of Win

Мар 07
2010
Have you kids joined the fun at The Moments of Win flickr group, yet? It’s rife with lovely, hilarious, inspiring pictures. Let’s have an oggle, shall we?

Sarah
I wanted to take a dance class or maybe yoga, but somehow I ended up swinging on a trapeze and hanging upside down from fabric. Every week I climb a little higher, hold myself up a little longer, and stretch a little further. I’m surprised and amazed by the things my body can now do. My muscles ache and my legs are bruised, but I’m loving the challenge!

Read the rest of this entry »

A Day Done Differently

Мар 04
2010
I don’t know about you guys, but this time of year usually finds me knee deep in a personal rut, whining with malcontent and mowing on processed carbs. An appealing picture, no? Over the past few weeks, I’ve attempted my usual malaise cures (joyful playlists, dressing my cat in a vest, travel) but none of them really cut it.

So in an attempt to well and truly shake myself out of these doldrums, I decided to attempt a day in which I would do every possible thing in a different manner. Really! Every. single. thing. What follows is a dissection of this attempt at A Day Done Differently.

6:00 AM
Usually:
I wake in the dark, to my alarm. I eat peanut butter/banana toast while listening to The Current, reading blogs and fending off my oddly needy cat.
Today: I rearranged my work schedule and attempted to sleep in until the truly decadent hour of 7 am. This mostly consisted of me tossing around around and trying to force myself to sleep in – you’ll go back to sleep and you’ll enjoy it, missy! I then made a daring foray into the breakfast world of scrambled eggs and salsa which normally falls under my ‘gross and slimy’ heading. Not nearly as gross as I remember!

7:30 AM

Usually: I’m at work, dressed in my personal uniform of dark wash skinny jeans/boots/button up shirt/scarf/messy bun.
Today: I was still at home, styling my hair (!) and applying red lipstick (!!) to work with my vintage dress and sweater combo. I wandered into my office at the luxurious hour of 8 am and all my students shrieked at me and told me I looked like an actress. I promptly melted into the floor.

12:00 PM
Usually
: I’m eating a Lean Cuisine in front of the computer during a 40 minute break between classes. Sexy, right?
Today: After switching classes with my colleague, I had an hour and a half to do as my little heart desired. My first proper lunch break in months! So I headed Grand Avenue for boutique browsing, coffee sipping and bagel nibbling. Truly, it was entirely too cold for me to be paddling about in my dress/leggings/sweater combo, but we Minnesotans get so excited once the temperature’s above 40! I felt so.damn.smug being out and about in the middle of the day.

3:30 PM
Usually: I’ve walked home, checked the mail and am 10 minutes into my post-work nap. Yes.
Today: I’m still at work. Wait, what? Eff this whole ‘change’ thing!

6:00 PM
Usually:
I’m eating a Chik’n fillet and some microwaved peas as I read a magazine/check email/attend to the oddly needy cat/put in a load of laundry. Simultaneously.
Today: I braved the aisles of a new and swanky grocery store to hunt down the ingredients to try a new recipe. $12 worth of produce later (never again, Kowalski’s) I started in on a version of coconut milk vichyssoise and a red pepper/papaya/avocado salad. I ate it while doing … nothing.

7:30 PM
Usually:
I’m drinking vodka gimlets with a date. Or meeting friends for dinner. Or working out. Or plotting world domination with various bloggers. Or generally fussing over my apartment and painting/sanding/fancy-fi-ing it.
Today: I wandered over to Garrison Keillor’s very own book store, and spent a good hour paging through obscure collections of poems, Indian cookbooks, books with funny pictures of cats. I resisted the urge to make mental lists of things I should be doing or to worry that my red lipstick was too ostentatious.

We all know that trying new things will help jolt us out of a boring routine, but ever the one to embrace a theme and a challenge, this Day Done Differently worked really well for me. It forced me to examine the ruts that I’d fallen into think about how exactly I could climb out of them. No makeup and jeans? I’ll show you a wiggle dress and red lipstick! Microwaved dinner? I’ll raise you a homemade meal! I like this idea so much I might just make it a monthly routine!

Oh, the irony.

Would you ever partake in A Day Done Differently? What would yours look like?

Stupid Is Cool?

Мар 03
2010
You guys know I fancy myself a clever lady. I will talk your ear off about immigration reform or sociolinguistics or, um, cat vests. So an ad campaign prominently advocating for stupidity? Fail, y’all.

Unless! By stupidity what we really mean is gumption. or moxie. or grin-inducing-fun. Well, then you’re speaking my language (I’m fluent in grin-inducing-fun, just FYI). Those marketing geniuses over at Diesel have done it again:



I kind of love these. I love them so much I might just download the entire set of PDFs, print them up and hang them ’round my wee little office. Because don’t we all need reminders to listen to our heart and take (possibly stupid) chances from time to time?

Edited to add: I knew when I posted these ads that the response would be varied, but I was interested in hearing what you ladies had to say. I think these ads appeal to me because I’ve never felt pressured to hide my intelligence under the proverbial bushel, nor have I ever felt ostracized for being bright. I have, however, had my own personal struggles to embrace the more impetuous, less cerebral aspects of life (I’m a German/Virgo/eldest child. It’s like a perfect storm of anal retentiveness and over productivity)

And I think that’s why these ads appeal to me. The use of the word ’stupid’ is certainly not lost on me, but for me personally, it’s much more effective than a poster of a kitty meowing at me to «Live A Little!»

What are your thoughts on this new connotation of stupid?

There’s No Business Like Snow Business

Фев 18
2010

Oh, puns are awful, aren’t they? I do apologize. I may be going slowly insane due to, oh I don’t know, never-ending winter? But! Ever one to take a lemon and paint that shit gold, I am bound and determined to see the silver lining in the cloud that is Minnesota’s six months of winter. No, friends, that isn’t a typo. Four million people have, in fact, voluntarily chosen to live in a place that often reaches -30 and boasts snow for half the year.

Here are some of the adventures I’ve been known to undertake in an attempt to maintain my sanity among all the white stuff.

Have a photo shoot

Are you among the many who document your daily fashion choices? All that white provides a nice backdrop for your cute vintage dress, don’t you think? Our girlfriend Cherry Blossom Girl, above, thinks so. So does this cutie. And this brave soul.

Make snow cream

Hygiene, shmi-giene – I don’t want to hear it nay-sayers! When it starts to snow, put a big mixing bowl outside to catch some clean snow (about a gallon), mix in a cup of milk, half a cup of sugar and a teaspoon of vanilla. Eat under the stars with your best girlfriends.

Make snow prints

Step 1: Wait for a perfect, ever-so-slightly wet, fairytale snow to fall and accumulate on a parking lot full of cars. Step 2: Run around pressing your faces and bodies into the snow. Step 3: Stand back and admire your amazingly realistic snow sculptures. Step 4: Hide behind the cars and watch bewildered commuters make sense of the face imprinted on to the hood of their Impala.

Build an igloo

I don’t know about you, but I suspect I will never outgrow making forts. Blanket forts, table forts, and igloos are the end-all-be-all of forts, no? A proper igloo is something of an undertaking requiring a specific kind of snow (as evidenced by this hilarious, totally un-PC 1960’s educational video). But don’t be dissuaded! I created many an awesome snow fort with these cool snow brick molds.

Make snow paint

And by ’snow paint’ I mean ‘fill an old squeeze bottle with water and food coloring.’ Visit your neighborhood park and leave love notes for strangers, your favorite quote or the photo number for your hottie, singleton friend. Now you don’t need to be jealous of your gentleman friends and their innate ability to write in the snow.

Extra Credit

* Make a snowball and put it in your freezer to utilize on your boyfriend come June
* Use a snow bank to chill your bottle of Champagne
* Visit your neighborhood sauna and do like the Swedes and have a proper snow roll, post-steaming
* Pull out your inflatable mattress, pile your friends on top and and go sliding!

How do you utilize the white stuff?

The Look of Love

Фев 14
2010

Love comes in all shapes and sizes, right? On this, a day full of hearts and hugs, let’s remember all those we hold dear – our mums, besties, sisters, the co-worker who will cover your shift at a moment’s notice and (let’s be honest) our pets. Read the rest of this entry »

Happiness Is…

Фев 05
2010

I have accomplished absolutely nothing this week. Unless you count eating lots of processed carbs, periodically dressing my cat in a vest and editing photos in picnik. I’d like a heaping helping of happy, please! Let’s make lists of what happiness means to us!

In my world, happiness is…

* a cuddly pile of snoring kitteh

* yelling the lyrics of questionable 80s songs with your BFF, on the way home from the bar

* laying by a pool. anytime, anywhere

* when someone that you’ve known forever does something that surprises you

* a bowl of bun chay, eaten in the company of kindred spirits

* an empty highway, a sunny day, a great mixtape (yes, an actual tape) and an overly sugary gas station cappuccino

* your plane coming in for landing over an unknown city and the feeling adventure opening up in front of you

How would you finish the sentence «Happiness Is..»?

Moments of Win

Фев 01
2010
Have you guys joined the fun over at the Moments of Win flickr pool? Really, it’s so lovely and so much fun to sift through all those photos of us doing awesome stuff. Also: y’all are damn attractive.

Annnnyway. Here are a few particularly joy-inducing photos and the accompanying stories.

Poetry Groupie
Ahhh… the most perfect beach in the world… Concha Beach in San Sebastian, Spain. After conquering my fear of traveling in Peru, I took a weekend here with my best friend while we were both studying in the south of France. I had just broken up with my partner of seven years, and it felt wonderful to be alive again in such a beautiful place.

Erin E
Completing my previously-thought-unreachable goal of finishing a sprint tri in under 2 hours.

Brittany K
I had been wanting to go to Washington DC since I was a kid but no one in my family would ever take me. So finally this past summer I took a half-day at work and left and drove 6 hours, by myself, to Washington DC. I spent the evening exploring, going on trolley rides and just seeing the city. I drove back that night and got back at 6 in the morning and went to work.It was the best experience of my life and this is the only picture I got of me from it.

Neon Panda
Yes. That is a cheetah. Why yes! That IS me stroking the cheetah. I KNOW. DIE OF LOVE. win.
(editor’s note: Gawd! Stop living my dream life!)

Lorelei Strange
I was invited by my hair stylist to participate in the Fresche Fall Fashion show in 2008 (Decatur, GA). Once I saw the rather revealing dress I was assigned for the runway, I got an attack of shyness. I was so afraid I’d be older and much heavier than the other models. But check me out! I look great!!!

kortneeboo
This is me, shortly after I decided to, on a whim, move across the country to try out a relationship with a guy I barely knew. And we’re still together. This decision has yielded much win. :D

So what are you waiting for?! Join the fun! If you can’t be bothered to upload photos or join flickr, just paste a link into the comments and tell us why that photo is a Moment of Win for you.

Sure-fire Cure for Mid-Winter Malaise

Янв 31
2010
Yes. Buy your pet a ridiculous winter outfit. I promise, at least 20 minutes of laughter will ensue. $6.50 well spent, friends.